The Muffin Manifesto

I have to get this off my chest. Don’t let anyone ever trick you into believing that store brand english muffins are as good as their name brand counterpart.

A few weeks ago I was at the grocery store, and saw this amazing deal. Buy one Thomas’ English Muffins, get 2 free!

So I bought them… and some eggs.

I then went on a breakfast sandwich kick for 3 weeks. It was probably the greatest few weeks of my life. I laughed, I sang, I got a lot of protein.

But then one day the english muffins ran out. Things got a little stale in my food cabinet.

I went back to the grocery store looking for more english muffins and I saw another deal! Buy one get one free

But this time… it was store brand. I thought, how bad could this be? Let me tell you some thing dear blog readers.

It is bad.

Real bad. 

They taste like bread that’s just pretending to be an english muffin. When I bit into that egg sandwich, we both knew, the egg and I,  that this is was no english muffin.

Ladies and gentlemen of the Internet. Do not under any circumstances, trust the marketing ruse of the store brand english muffin.

I’ll have to let the “muffins” off easy.

Maybe a donation to a hungy roommate, or a mutation into a french toast of sadness.